Top Ten Crushes of 2008

I realize that I'm getting a big head start on the end-of-year lists, but this one came to me while I was driving for work the other day.

I have had many crushes over the past year. And by definition, a crush hurts. So, there's nothing sexual or adulterous about it. I simply see intriguing people whom I can't seem to get off my mind. Some have been crushes of mine for a while. Some are cliched, but all are definitely crush-worthy.

10. Chris "Beanie" Wells

Beanie has proven throughout this season to be the best Buckeye on Ohio State's squad. He runs through, around, and over defenders. Of course, Beanie broke my heart with that mysterious foot injury that cost the Buckeyes the USC game. Still, he steamrolled Michigan once again this past Saturday.

9. Tina Fey

OK. This is cliched and I've mentioned this crush before, but how can you not have a crush on the hapless Liz Lemon? Or be more attracted to Fey's Sarah Palin than Palin herself? Tina Fey may have a permanent spot on this list.

8. Zooey Deschanel

I first noticed Deschanel on Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, then she sang with M Ward under the moniker She and Him, I was hooked. She has that girl-next-door thing or the cute barista without all the unnecessary skankiness of the adult film industry or teen angst melodramas.

7. The Bloggers at Feministing

Yes, I am what a feminist looks like...er...or writes like. I get the feminist 411 from the womyn of Feministing. No topic is off limits. No stone is left unturned. Besides great feminist coverage, Feministing avoids the typical pitfalls of pop feminist ideology: an ignorance of race and class privilege. If you don't read them, you should.

6. Thao Nguyen

Few releases in 2008 have appealed to all my senses the way Thao Nguyen's We Brave Bee Stings and All has. I'll have more to say on this with my top-32 of 2008 list. But for now, you should download her set at Daytrotter, which is where I found Thao.

5. Jay Smooth

H/T to Feministing for pointing this guy out to its readers. Jay Smooth is a blogger, vlogger, hip-hop commentator who sets things straight with his videos on sexism, politics, or whatever topic needs to be talked about. The best part is that he makes the message super critical and thought-provoking without sounding like a know-it-all. Plus, he was once featured in a Nas video.

4. Art School Pam

I love the American The Office, but I never got how all the men in said office (sans Oscar) were head-over-heels in love with the secretary, Pam. Sure, she was cute and very sly with her wit, but she just didn't do it for me. Now, she's left the desk and moved to NYC for art school (and now moved back with Jim, but whatever). I like the new, outgoing Pam. Her humor is now in the forefront and she is realizing her dreams. Sorry for the extra cheese factor, but me likes art school Pam better than frustrated secretary Pam.

3. The Obamas

So, Michelle is fierce and Barack is sort of pretty. Really. Besides actually bringing some high intellect (and integrity) to the White House, the first family elect has got to be the hottest first couple ever. I've had crushes on both since last year. That's why they share the #3 slot.

2. Stephen Malkmus

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have a crush on Stephen Malkmus. His drunken show at the Note did little if anything to change that. He will forever be the man who wrote "Here" or "Box Elder" or any number of Pavement classics. He will forever be that other voice on Silver Jew records. And Stephen Malkmus will always be my generation's Bob Dylan/Lou Reed/Michael Jackson.

1. Lucia

My biggest crush is on this little person who completed our family a little over ten weeks ago. She teaches me patience and an unending love every day. Lucia will break my heart many times over her lifetime, but I will always have room for her in my heart. Lucia will forever be #1 on my crush list and I will be forever indebted to her mother for bringing her into this world. (Sorry for the sappiness.)

There are more lists to come...

Choose Life

I think I have finally awoken from my baby haze and two-week paternity leave to address a highly divisive issue that has somehow escaped this year's presidential campaign: abortion. I personally see this issue as non-political and more of a health issue. However, I realize as McCain becomes more and more desperate, he will go to the anti-choicers for some 11th hour assistance.

Actually, what woke me up was a Facebook post by a former high school classmate of my brother's. Marla (her name has not been changed to protect her identity) posted a diatribe against any presidential candidate that is not pro-life. She doesn't name names, but we all know what she's getting at.

I decided to respond to Marla's post. I wrote something like this...

So, which candidate is more forthright/forthcoming with his faith?

Obama regularly speaks of his faith. In fact, I would argue that he is way more comfortable with his faith than McCain. Besides, McCain cheated on his first wife with his current wife. Isn't there something in the Bible about that?

I often like to imagine Jesus as our president. Of course, most Republicans would accuse him of Socialism. He would regularly require the rich to give what they have to the poor. There would be health care for all and no war.

So, when I read your post and considered these issues, I assumed that you will be supporting Barack Obama for president. I salute your courage and forward thinking in such an important election.

Take care and God bless,

Marla, being the professional writer she is, responded...quite poetically. Check it...

I'm not looking for a guy with a perfect past. I'm looking for a guy who values human life.

God knits babies together in their mothers' wombs. I don't mess with that. Neither would Jesus.

Yes. That's what she wrote.

"God knits babies together in their mothers' wombs. I didn't mess with that. Neither would Jesus."

What the hell does that mean? I asked R if she remembers feeling any knitting. She said other than the hat she knitted for Lucia, she couldn't recall any yarn-craft going on in her uterus.

I still think Jesus would make a good president.

Anyway, I had to respond...

Values life? Oh, you mean fixing America's health care system, ending a war, creating programs that prevent unwanted pregnancies and STD's, supporting stem cell research, reducing domestic and gender-based violence, and fighting poverty? Those are all ways to improve the quality of life in this country. You're right! Barack Obama is definitely the right choice.

Have a blessed day!

In all fairness, Marla has not had a chance to respond, but I can't possibly see how she won't agree with me...unless God also crochets babies or bakes them in her Easy-Bake Oven.

Why is this still an issue for so many voters this political season? Have we not seen the alternative to safe, legal abortions? Didn't the pro-lifers learn from Bush that a presidential election will not overturn Roe v. Wade? How does this issue really affect their lives? Really?

What is so "pro-life" about a "pro-life" political stance?

The only way to ensure that our daughters, mine included, have the same opportunities as men is to allow them the choice to continue or terminate a pregnancy. If a man does not want a baby, he can maintain his traditional role as father and have little to do with raising the child...or he could just leave. Besides, he doesn't have to carry the fetus for nine months. These situations create terrible disadvantages for women.Our country doesn't do enough as it is for children (and mothers) once they're born. We don't fund daycare and preschools the way we should. There is no guarantee that a child will receive the health care he/she deserves once they are born. Of course, a baby's mother only makes 75 cents of every man's dollar, so who can afford a baby in the first place? And if he/she survives all this, don't expect to get any handouts for college.

We are so lucky to have Lucia in our lives, but it is so wonderful because it was our choice to have her. We are privileged to make that choice. We are privileged to have educations, careers, and a home. I don't want to live in a country where reproduction is not our choice.

What really gets me about these one-issue voters is that they don't see the big picture. They often support candidates that aim to cut social welfare programs, propose abstinence-only education, and are pro-death penalty. I realize that social welfare is a problem, but one has to wonder what Jesus would do. I believe that Jesus would provide for the nation's poor and needy. The abstinence-only education makes no sense. Kids will have sex no matter what we try to tell them. Why not provide them with information and protection so that abortions are not even a necessity? And do I have to explain the hypocrisy of being pro-life and pro-death penalty?

Many so-called pro-life voters will flock to the voting booths this November to cast a ballot for John McCain. Is this really the best choice? George W Bush never delivered on the promise to overturn Roe v. Wade. What makes them think McCain is different? In fact, McCain used to think that abortion should be a state issue until he later flip-flopped and claimed to support the reversal of RvW. In fact, even his wife, Cindy (whom he's referred to as a c---), was confused on her husband's stance.

Barack Obama, a devoutly Christian man, supports a woman's right to choose, not necessarily abortion. In fact, like many Democrats, Obama would like to lower the number of abortions through education and health programs. Shouldn't that be the goal? Shouldn't we want less abortions rather than more back alley hatchet jobs?

I, for one, am glad that abortion is not an issue this year, but I know that it is only a matter of time before McCain has to go "there" and rile up the Christian right (or wrong, whichever). I just wish voters could look past an issue with which the president has very little to do.

I agree that we should vote for life. I am voting to end the war. That should save a few lives. I am voting to end the death penalty. I am voting to provide health care for every American. That should make life better. I am voting to tax those who can afford to give a little more so that others may live a little easier. I am voting for the candidate who will make life better for everyone, not just the very rich. I am voting for Barack Obama for more than one reason. His stance on protecting a woman's right to choose is just one of them.

Happy Mothers' Day

To commemorate her first Mother's Day, I made R a breakfast burrito complimented by fresh-squeezed orange juice. She likes to be cooked for, making it easy for me to honor her motherhood today. Sure, she hasn't given birth yet, but I feel she is suffering through pregnancy for our kid just as my mother had for me.

This got me thinking about how lucky I am to have and raise a child with my partner. I thought I was lucky that R chose me on the Internet dating site, lucky she agreed to drag me to whichever university hired her, and even luckier that she wanted to be legally bound to me through marriage. Now, she's upped the ante. R is willing to have her body stretched beyond recognition, discover pain and discomfort like she never knew existed, and pass a living being through a very, very small opening. I am simply amazed by her.

Of course, I have always known how amazing R is. I probably don't tell her enough, but she does impress me on a daily basis. She is smart, really smart. To hear her talk about her work with political discourse and how that discourse affects public policy that, in turn, affects the lives of women in developing countries is really quite mind-boggling. She's currently writing her book. Then she'll write another. Additionally, R has a great sense of humor, is a true foodie, and is a good friend. Did I mention how lucky I am to even know her? Because I am.

Come September, R will add the title "mother" to her list of scholar, partner, sister, and daughter, and I can't think of a person I would rather raise my kid with than her. While in grad school, R nannied twin infants and has an incredible wealth of knowledge on child-rearing from that experience. She wrote a significant portion of her dissertation while rocking her newborn niece with her foot. R will be a mother in the same way she does everything else in her life: knowingly, carefully, and comprehensively. I have no doubts that she will be a great mother to our child.

Thinking about my partner as a mother also led to me considering my own mom. Mom has been the most supportive and caring mother for which I could have wished. She influenced me greatly in my choice to pursue a career in education as well as my feminist tendencies to see women as equal ( if not greater) contributors to families, communities, and societies. I have always been able to go to her for advice or support no matter how much I screwed up or failed in my endeavors and relationships. We cried together when I married R and have been joyfully anticipating the arrival of her first grandchild. I have been lucky to have my mom as a friend, role-model, and confidant.

Today, Mom will undoubtedly honor her own mother who is suffering through dementia and losing the parts of her personality that made her who she is. Grandma is a feisty character in her old age, but she grows tired as the days wind down and forgets where she is, literally and metaphorically. It has to be hard to watch someone who raised you fade like that. I suppose Mom will cherish the time she has left with her mother. I don't look forward to that time in our relationship. I'd miss my mom as I am sure Mom will miss hers.

Blog for Fair Pay Day

I nearly forgot in my indie rock nerdness to mention this. Today is "Blog for Fair Pay Day" which is an initiative for bloggers to comment on the fact that, on average, women still make considerably less than their male counterparts. This is not acceptable.

As an elementary teacher, I have primarily worked with women and have noticed that this female-dominated profession is vastly underpaid. Take some time to check out the links above and blog a little yourself. Women deserve the same dollar men get...not the 77 cents they currently receive.