Lucia Wishes Her Pappy a Speedy Recovery

Forty some weeks ago...Get well soon, Pappy (aka Dad).

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Everybody, say "happy birthday" to my mom.

Happy Mothers' Day

To commemorate her first Mother's Day, I made R a breakfast burrito complimented by fresh-squeezed orange juice. She likes to be cooked for, making it easy for me to honor her motherhood today. Sure, she hasn't given birth yet, but I feel she is suffering through pregnancy for our kid just as my mother had for me.

This got me thinking about how lucky I am to have and raise a child with my partner. I thought I was lucky that R chose me on the Internet dating site, lucky she agreed to drag me to whichever university hired her, and even luckier that she wanted to be legally bound to me through marriage. Now, she's upped the ante. R is willing to have her body stretched beyond recognition, discover pain and discomfort like she never knew existed, and pass a living being through a very, very small opening. I am simply amazed by her.

Of course, I have always known how amazing R is. I probably don't tell her enough, but she does impress me on a daily basis. She is smart, really smart. To hear her talk about her work with political discourse and how that discourse affects public policy that, in turn, affects the lives of women in developing countries is really quite mind-boggling. She's currently writing her book. Then she'll write another. Additionally, R has a great sense of humor, is a true foodie, and is a good friend. Did I mention how lucky I am to even know her? Because I am.

Come September, R will add the title "mother" to her list of scholar, partner, sister, and daughter, and I can't think of a person I would rather raise my kid with than her. While in grad school, R nannied twin infants and has an incredible wealth of knowledge on child-rearing from that experience. She wrote a significant portion of her dissertation while rocking her newborn niece with her foot. R will be a mother in the same way she does everything else in her life: knowingly, carefully, and comprehensively. I have no doubts that she will be a great mother to our child.

Thinking about my partner as a mother also led to me considering my own mom. Mom has been the most supportive and caring mother for which I could have wished. She influenced me greatly in my choice to pursue a career in education as well as my feminist tendencies to see women as equal ( if not greater) contributors to families, communities, and societies. I have always been able to go to her for advice or support no matter how much I screwed up or failed in my endeavors and relationships. We cried together when I married R and have been joyfully anticipating the arrival of her first grandchild. I have been lucky to have my mom as a friend, role-model, and confidant.

Today, Mom will undoubtedly honor her own mother who is suffering through dementia and losing the parts of her personality that made her who she is. Grandma is a feisty character in her old age, but she grows tired as the days wind down and forgets where she is, literally and metaphorically. It has to be hard to watch someone who raised you fade like that. I suppose Mom will cherish the time she has left with her mother. I don't look forward to that time in our relationship. I'd miss my mom as I am sure Mom will miss hers.

The Alternative Baby Registry

My parents were just in town to help paint the kid's room. It's not done, but they did a nice job getting it started. Eventually, it will look like this...
Until then, it is basically a room with white/cream walls.

The other way in which we've begun to prepare is to register for items we will need to insure that this kid is well taken care of and is able to fully participate in our society's pointless consumption of goods from the git-go. For all those necessities and for those gift-givers who want to give us something we'll really need, we registered at Target and Baby's R Us.

Registering for gifts is a funny thing. Take our wedding registry almost three years back. Here I was, ready to be legally bound to this really cool, smart, attractive person, and I got to pick out the gifts my friends and family were to give to me. It was win-win all the way. I couldn't go wrong. Now I get a kid of my own and a bunch of gifts. "You mean I get the chance to create and raise a kid who will love me and look up to me and you give me a bunch of stuff in order to make that all happen?" Deal.

Anyway, as we walked through Target and Baby's R Us, I realized that a lot of the toys and clothes were not all that great. There was a ton of gendered stuff and some just plain stupid crap. Don't get me wrong. We like and have registered for items in these stores. I was just hopeful that I could find more products that I thought were cool as well.

We've also looked online, but most of that stuff is terribly overpriced. However, I realized after watching a co-worker's baby shower bounty that we could get a bunch of stuff not on the register. So, I've decided to use this blog to post the alternative registry. (Because I know you are all just dieing to buy us some baby crap.)

Being that I always wear rock t-shirts, I figured that my kid should do the same. I remember when a lot of rock bands used to sell onesies at their shows. There are still some cool onesies out there.

Two of my favorite indie labels have onesies for sale. Sub Pop has come a long way from their grunge days to become more of a family-friendly company with its famous logo now emblazoned on a onesie. I was hoping for a baby version of their famous "Loser" t-shirt, but maybe that would be in poor taste. Besides, the kid can have mine once he/she is old enough. The other label to offer baby attire is the uber-hot North Carolina record company known as Merge.

There are even some bands with cool baby threads out there. Most were for the "classic" rock, but I found a couple with indie roots. The Shins represent the present indie scene while The Smiths can remind the kid's mom of her days as a vegetarian. Then, there's always the band that spans both eras and provides something for when the kid gets a little bigger: Sonic Youth. Of course, if I want my kid just to be identified as an indie rocker, there's always the fine folks at CafePress.

Speaking of CafePress, I have designed some products with living in misery-themed logos. Scroll down and you'll find a few items for my kid or yours. I plan to add a few more items in the near future.

We have also seen the light and it is powered by William-Sonoma. The Beaba (pronounced bay-ah-bah) Babycook steams and purees vegetables and meats for easy baby digestion. It's really quite amazing. You should check out the video on the link.
Finally, there are the toys. I haven't really gotten into the toys, but I know I will have to eventually. I do know that I like the plush toys by Uglydolls because they are...well...ugly. That and they're not your run-of-the-mill baby toys.

I'm sorry if all the baby-talk bores you. I'll get back to some properly miserable topics in the near-future. For now, enjoy this...

The One Record With Which My Kid Should Grow

I once considered the music I would expose to my kid. As important as music is to me, it's even more important that I am able to pass it on to the next generation. Now that I will actually have my own kid to corrupt, I've had to carefully choose the album with which he/she will grow old.

When making such an important decision, one must consider several factors. First of all, the record must be solid from beginning to end. It has to be loaded with angst, regret, hope, and love. Since I will play the record from the beginning of this human being's life, the record must contain both a certain naiveté and at the same time a worldliness that will age like a good wine. The album must be a hidden treasure that not everyone has on their iTunes, but be a classic to a particular niche audience as well. It should speak to the child and his/her experiences while including a world view that goes beyond those limitations.

I have a lot of favorites and have tried on numerous occasions to quantify those favorites into top-5 lists or blog posts or whatever. This is not an easy task, especially when one is trying to narrow down a ridiculous obsession into one, quintessential example to pass on to one's offspring.

The one album I want to play first for my kid was finally revealed to me last week while flipping through my iPod for some driving music.

In the morning/Feeling half right
If it was more than just one day, I'd feel alright.

The twisting guitar chords feel so familiar, so hopeful. The sparse production makes it personal. The singer's voice is that of a "close" friend.

And so begins Built to Spill's 1994 release, There's Nothing Wrong with Love, the first record I intend on playing for our kid in its entirety. It's one of those perfect albums that doesn't do too much but takes you places you've never been and makes you see things in ways you never thought were possible.The album has a little bit of everything. There's that loud-quiet-loud aesthetic made popular by Pixies. There are love songs, songs about death, and songs about life. There's even a little comedy mixed in.

This record is everything a first favorite record should be. And I will play it for my kid until it wears out.

Of course, I can't guarantee that the Dingo-Early spawn will love Built to Spill, but it will be a part of his/her consciousness. My brother, sister, and I used to moan and groan over the Willie Nelson and Stones records my parents played for us, but none of us would ever deny our appreciation for those artists and the many others our 'rents shared with us.

So, our child will grow up with There's Nothing Wrong with Love, and there's nothing wrong with that.

______________________________________________

Blogger's Note: I'll see Built to Spill this Sunday at the Blue Note with Meat Puppets, a band I haven't seen since 1993 in an opening slot for Nirvana. Most likely there will be a post about it. Also, this is my 200th post on this blog. The funny thing is that it took me more than a year to reach the first 100 and about 6 months to reach the second.

Random Pic of the Moment

I think that I just turned into my father when I posted this picture.

Back from Vacation

In case you hadn't noticed, I took a few days off from the blogging. It became too much of a chore, so I thought a few days away would help re-energize my blogger-self. I think it has.

Genocide Celebration Day went off without a hitch this past Thursday. You can check out some pics at Digital Vittles. While there, be sure to check out the "Gobble Gobble, Y'all" post.

I bought nothing on Buy Nothing Day...wait...we did buy some furniture. Damn! Maybe next year.

We finally have a fully functional basement/family room. Some tables and a chair (Thanks, Mom.) have really made the space livable. Plus, my dad and I put up some closet doors to help cover up that gigantic mirror. (Some of you know what I'm talking about.)

I haven't showered in two days, but that will change as I have to get back to work. This will probably mean a continued stoppage in the blogging, but I will try to post every other day. Besides, with the end of the year coming, I have to complete all my end-of-the-year lists.

December 9th is coming up and that means I am still selling raffle tickets for Prism, the LGBT youth group for which I volunteer. Thanks to those who have already purchased tickets or made donations. The tickets are $1 for each, $5 for six.

Misery is #1...for now. I'm a big Sooners fan this week. If OU wins, the Buckeyes are in the championship game for the second straight year and third time this decade.

I'm currently listening to Jose Gonzales and am impressed for the most part. His style of folk lies in that place where Elliott Smith and Nick Drake meet. We'll have to see where he lands on the end-of-year list.

That's all for now. I've got some ideas for more focused posts.

Things I Think About While Driving Across Misery

My job has me driving about an two-hours round trip 3-4 days a week. That's a lot of driving with no one to talk to. I have many internal dialogues that must be heard. So, prepare yourself for the randomness that are my thoughts as I traverse through Misery.

The new Devendra Banhart record is weird, uneven, but somehow very compelling at the same time. I was sort of let down upon the first listen. The production is rather lo-fi compared to Banhart's last release, Crippled Crow. However, after listening a few more times, the 1950's groove and Jewish doo-wop has me intrigued. This album should be in heavy rotation as I drive all over Misery in the coming weeks.

Misery's rural communities located along I-70 are the perfect breeding ground for meth addicts. Besides being too bored to get in trouble in any other way, kids have other factors playing into the meth rage in Misery. With so many farms in lightly populated areas, meth-heads and connoisseurs of crank have ample opportunity to steal chemicals and supplies necessary to make all the ice they want. Besides that I-70 provides the perfect conduit for the meth trade in Misery.

A lot of bands must travel through Misery on a daily basis. Besides meth traffickers, I've noticed numerous vans and tour buses pulling trailers of what must be musical equipment. There are several cities located all along I-70, so one has to figure that bands must drive between gigs through Misery regularly.

Sunset Rubdown's new disc is a major disappointment. It's no Wolf Parade. That's for sure. There are some things (screeching guitar solos, cheesy keyboard flourishes) that should have died along with the 80's. There are moments of brilliance, but it's all over the place. Did I mention bad 80's influences?

One can generally get away with driving 80 on I-70. I typically drive right around 80 mph to and from the schools I visit and have yet to be stopped. Of course, now that I've blogged about it, I'll probably get pulled over tomorrow morning.

I have not been keeping up with the blogs like I used to. I'm OK on this blog, but my other three blogs and the two to which I contribute have been tragically neglected. Either I need to cut back on the blogging...or the work. Hmmm.

It's too bad that so many people use their kids as excuses not do the things they did before kids. Now, let me be clear. We have many friends who have had kids and haven't missed a beat. Sure, they don't go out as often as they used to, but they don't make the rest of the world bend over backwards for their familial lifestyles. I have spoke to several teachers I work with who are frustrated with co-workers who don't pull their weight and use kids as an excuse. I know of other parents who have held those around them hostage simply because they don't feel like getting a sitter. Most of the parents we know don't do this, but I keep meeting parents who do, and I've vowed never to be that parent.

Misery-ans love their holidays. I've never been around so many schools that stop educating for Halloween or been in a store that had Christmas stuff displayed before November. Some of you might think I'm crazy, but just you wait. It's amazing how many Christmas sweatshirts one can wear between now and December 25th. I'm amazed at how many folks suddenly turn Irish (and how many shades of green one can wear) as St. Patrick's Day approaches. Easter is even a huge deal here. Hell, a guy I taught with always passed out trees to plant on Arbor Day. This place is crazy about the holidays.
I'm sure I've thought about more pressing issues during my drives to and from remote schools across Misery, but this what I blogged about. Maybe I'll get back to something with more focus and more to actually do with living in Misery.

Who in '08?

My dad recently forwarded me a link. Now, he usually sends me things like this...
However, he recently sent me this link to a website that matches your political views with some of the forty or so presidential candidates from the two major parties. Being curious whether my support for Obama is unfounded, I tried out the survey of multiple choice questions on anything from Iraq to tax cuts to immigration. Then, I had to assign a value of importance to each issue.

Before I get into my results, I wanted to vent over a couple of problems I have with American politics that are manifested in this little survey: the limitations of a two-party system and the inside-the-box thinking that pervades American political dialogue.

Like most political polls, the focus lies on only two parties, or the Republicrats, as I like to call them. Yes, these two parties have dominated the political scene in this country for most of our history, but they are by no means the only perspectives. In fact, they often represent the same perspective: a rich white one. Voters are then held hostage by siding with one party or the other without really thinking through the issues. Pundits polarize the populace by splitting hairs over non-issues that don't really affect people's lives. Parties like the Greens, Libertarians (yuck-personal opinion here), Democratic-socialists, etc. represent a more nuanced perspective on policy that really effects how we live.

Why can't the online survey address this? Imagine if the survey matched voters with the so-called third party that truly represented their beliefs. What would happen? Voters might actually vote for people who represent them and their ideals. This could really alter public policy in a way that would have real benefits for the people. Instead, we now have a system of infighting that accomplishes nothing but some tax breaks for the rich and welfare for corporations. (Sorry about the rant.)

While completing the survey, I really struggled to answer a few of the issues. For one, I didn't agree with any of the solutions given for Iraq. What I think should be done is to create a country divided into ethnic regions with some profit-sharing and an democratic system set up by the people of Iraq. In conjunction, we would pull our troops while trying to reconnect with former allies and new ones in hopes that they would help with some of the peace-keeping load. Oh, and we should spend the rest of Bush's time in office impeaching his rich, white ass. That was not a choice, however.

A couple of the other issues were limited in similar ways as well. I believe the Mexican/American border should be completely open. If we let corporations move back and forth in order to exploit people on both sides, migrant workers from Mexico should be allowed to do the same. Ethanol is not the solution to our energy woes. The production of the corn-based fuel is just as harmful, if not more to the environment as the fumes spewing from our automobiles. I also felt the positions on social security, health care, taxes, and marriage were not nuanced enough to match my opinions perfectly.

This survey is just another reason why I'm looking at the '08 election as a chore. Apperently, my vote is supposed to go to Dennis Kucinich and his hot wife, but is he electable? Is the vegan elf from Cleveland really electable? Is he just the Democrats' answer to Ralph Nader?

All I know is that this is frustrating me to no end. Don't worry. I will vote, but, according to the survey, I'll end up voting for my sixth or seventh most compatible candidate.

Indie Rock Dad

In the most recent issue of Magnet, Phil Sheridan writes about his influence over his kids' musical tastes. In the commentary, Sheridan describes his efforts to turn his daughters into the same sort of indie snob he is by constantly bombarding them with all the essential albums of his life. He experiences some success as well as minor setbacks but finds that in the end, his kids were listening.

Since the beginning of time (or at least my lifetime), parents have tried to influence the musical choices of their offspring. Some of these parents have tried to shield their little ones from adult messages not appropriate for young ears, while others have simply tried to instill good listening habits that reflect their own tastes. My parents fit in the latter category.

My parents tried to steer us toward a variety of well-crafted music from their childhood and throughout by playing the records they loved and by programming every car radio to all of the oldies stations in both Columbus and Dayton. I remember them going through their Willie Nelson phase, exposing us to the virtues of true country music. I have since become a big fan of nearly anything featured in No Depression. Mom would play Carol King or Janice Joplin opening the possibility of strong women in rock to a boy who mostly idolized male performers. We learned to love the Stones and appreciate the Beatles. Motown was not left out providing soul and groove to our lives. Mom loved rock 'n' roll rebels, but could appreciate the subtleties of a heartfelt, acoustic piece. Dad loved to dance and sing with the music (usually slightly off time, but with plenty of style).

The 'rents had a tremendous influence on my siblings and myself. To this day, music is the linchpin (along with our blood) that connects us. The majority of our greatest concert memories were experienced with two or all three of us together. While my brother and I expanded our listening tastes throughout the early and mid-nineties, our little sister was making dubs of all our albums. My brother now plays in a band. My sister can't go a day without mentioning bands like the Arcade Fire or Sonic Youth or Pavement or whoever she's listening to currently. I write about music all the time on this blog and keep another blog totally dedicated to one band's catalog (an "oeuvre blog" I'm told).

And it continues. When I read the Sheridan piece, I thought of Dr. Fabulous and his new daughter. (I don't mean to disregard the mother, but I'm relating to the dad as a male...damned gender!) This dad doesn't have tastes like Sheridan's (or mine), but he has a pretty deep connection to music. I've wondered how he chooses which music to play around the house. I wonder what it's like to have so much influence over another human being's musical tastes. I mean, his daughter can't change the station or switch the cd. She's helpless to whatever music Dr. Fabulous spins.

I used to get really annoyed by parents who attended concerts with their kids. My dad's been to a Pavement show (where the bartender offered him some moonshine from beneath the bar) and both of my parents saw Guided by Voices with my sister in Chicago. I guess this didn't bother me, and it really doesn't bother me so much now that I'm close to the same age as some of the parents and to that point in my own life.

The day after I saw the Yeah Yeah Yeahs here in COMO (Karen O is a god.), I checked out their MySpace page to see if anyone had left a comment about the show. What I found was a very grateful father for the awesome show he witnessed with his two teenagers. At first, I was taken aback that this forty-something dad had a MySpace profile, but then I was touched. I knew how he felt. The show was super, but, more importantly, I understood how that dad felt to connect with his kids, to be a part of something that means so much to the human condition: music.

This post turned our sappy, but it holds a lot of truth. Parents want to influence their kids anyway they can. This is their legacy. This is how we live on forever by passing down traditions or interests to children. No other thing has influenced my life more than music. I'm obsessed at times. It informs my opinions, politics, relationships, my entire life. There is no other gift that I want to pass on to my children more than a love for good music...as long as it's my music.

(It should be noted that the YYYs' "Honeybear" came up on my iTunes while writing about the dad at the YYYs show.)

On a side note, Interpol was great last Wednesday in St, Louis. I took notes expecting to blog about all the frat boys, but alas, there was no time and it's old news by now.

Also, my mix made it onto Good Magazine's website with some nice commentary on their part.

Be sure to check out the new survey...