Xmas Breakin' Too: Electric Boogaloo

Copyright ©2005, Donovan Rees

So, we're off to OH and Detroit rock Citay for the next few days to see the families.

Don't expect me to keep blogging. I'll try to continue the best albums list, start a few new lists, and report on the strangeness that is Christ's birth, but I will have limited time in front of a computer with high speed internet access.

In the meantime, read a book, spend time with your loved ones, and seriously contemplate man's inhumanity to man over the next few days.

Later.

Back from Vacation

In case you hadn't noticed, I took a few days off from the blogging. It became too much of a chore, so I thought a few days away would help re-energize my blogger-self. I think it has.

Genocide Celebration Day went off without a hitch this past Thursday. You can check out some pics at Digital Vittles. While there, be sure to check out the "Gobble Gobble, Y'all" post.

I bought nothing on Buy Nothing Day...wait...we did buy some furniture. Damn! Maybe next year.

We finally have a fully functional basement/family room. Some tables and a chair (Thanks, Mom.) have really made the space livable. Plus, my dad and I put up some closet doors to help cover up that gigantic mirror. (Some of you know what I'm talking about.)

I haven't showered in two days, but that will change as I have to get back to work. This will probably mean a continued stoppage in the blogging, but I will try to post every other day. Besides, with the end of the year coming, I have to complete all my end-of-the-year lists.

December 9th is coming up and that means I am still selling raffle tickets for Prism, the LGBT youth group for which I volunteer. Thanks to those who have already purchased tickets or made donations. The tickets are $1 for each, $5 for six.

Misery is #1...for now. I'm a big Sooners fan this week. If OU wins, the Buckeyes are in the championship game for the second straight year and third time this decade.

I'm currently listening to Jose Gonzales and am impressed for the most part. His style of folk lies in that place where Elliott Smith and Nick Drake meet. We'll have to see where he lands on the end-of-year list.

That's all for now. I've got some ideas for more focused posts.

This Is the End, My Friend

We recently purchased a new car, since my new job requires me to drive all over our great state of Misery. It's not that we only had one car already. It's just that my old friend, the '97 VW Golf, is on its last leg.

There's something about one's first car. Sure, I had junkers that I shared with my siblings, but this was the first new car I ever owned. I remember being persuaded by that VW ad with the Nick Drake song playing in the background that this was the car company that would somehow make my life better.

It was the ideal car for me. The hatchback and fold-down seats made it possible for me to leave Ohio forever, but I didn't leave for eight years. The six-disc CD changer allowed me to drive all over with the soundtrack to my life playing in the background. Chavez's Ride the Fader was the perfect album for long drives across rural Ohio. This car was for me.

As the years passed, I took this car everywhere. There was the not-so-well-thought-out backpacking trip through the U.P. in April. I drove it to Columbus (before moving there permanently), Detroit, Cleveland, Newport, KY, and Cincy for rock shows. I drove through the fog to and from Wisconsin for a Thanksgiving with Modest Mouse's new CD (The Lonesome Crowded West) on repeat. We took a 48-hour road trip to Coney Island for the first Siren Festival. Then, I drove my old friend here.

I'm not usually attached to things. Music, sporting events, good beer and food, sure. Friends and lovers will always have a place in my heart, but they have to make room for my car.

It was apparent the end was nearing when we closed on our first house and stayed to paint a couple of weeks before moving. The car broke down nine hours from home. I wasn't sure I'd even be able to bring it back at all. It turned out that the compressor could only work with the AC running while driving on the highway. The car would sputter to a stop whenever my speed dipped below 50. We made it home, and I returned with my car two weeks later.

Anyway, we bought the new car, a red Versa, to tool around COMO, while I drive all over Misery in R's Vibe. My car has already been sold off to a student thanks to our very odd insurance guy. All I need is to locate a new title, and she's gone. She's gone. Oh I. Oh, I'd better learn to face it. She's gone.

(Author's Note: I apologize for the Hall and Oates reference. I couldn't resist despite sounding way too melodramatic.)

Loading Up On Some Columbus

I had one day to spend in Columbus before returning to Misery. I tried to make the most of my last day home. I arrived around noon with some ideas of what to do. Here was my list...

1. Load up on OSU paraphernalia. I have been in need of some fresh OSU garb. Of course, I wouldn't have been caught dead in Columbus wearing as much OSU stuff as I wear in Misery, but I have to represent. Universi-T's had a "buy one, get two free" deal. I couldn't resist.

2. Load up on local music. I was able to take care of half of this when I stopped by Used Kids six days before when I bought the latest release by Times New Viking. On this day, I was able to hunt down the latest by my longtime favs Earwig. The album is well-produced (compared to earlier releases). However, the passion and songwriting that made them such a popular local act seems long gone. I'll give it a few more listens, but I don't have my hopes up.


3. Load up on Jeni's ice cream. This turned out to be the trickiest task of the day, but it was a task I had to complete or R may never speak to me again. The manager said that they were waiting on a shipment of dry ice around five. So, I agreed to return later for my order. However, when I returned just before five, the shop had not received their shipment of dry ice. The guy behind the counter asked if I would mind driving over to their kitchen in Grandview to pick up some ice. I did not mind since this was my sole reason for even being in Columbus this early before my flight.

After almost getting lost (due to my forgetting where Kenny Road is), I successfully found the Jeni's kitchen. The manager wrapped up my dry ice and ice cream (to be reviewed on Digital Vittles in the near future) and offered me the "five-cent tour" for my troubles. Jeni's ice cream is amazingly created in a half-empty room with only two machines not much smaller than my own refrigerator. He then showed me the freezer that is cleaned out every two days. The ice cream solidifies in this freezer after being stirred by the machines. He then offered me an ice cream sandwich for the road. Nice guy, that Jeni.

4. Load up on local cuisine. Besides the Jeni's ice cream sandwich, I had to eat several local favorites before leaving town. After being turned down the first time at Jeni's in the North Market, I enjoyed a delicious Vietnamese sandwich - bar-b-q chicken. For dessert, I headed over to Graeter's (Columbus' other ice cream mecca) for a chocolate chip milkshake. There's something about a milkshake made with premium vanilla ice cream and large, dark chocolate chips that get stuck in your straw. Later in the day, I slurped down a Monkey Business at Columbus mainstay Cup O' Joe. (Actually, the drink was from COJ's younger brother, Mo' Joe Lounge.) The day was finished off with dinner at North Star. Their chicken wraps are so good and filling. The sandwich helped hold me over when my plane was delayed by an hour. (Skybus!)


5. Load up on some culture. I didn't have a lot of time for the culture. I considered attending a cool art house flick at the beloved Drexel Theaters. However, waiting around for a decent movie showing is risky when you have limited time and all these other tasks to complete. I then remembered that the Wexner Center for the Arts was free and usually featured some great contemporary artwork. I picked up a nice gift for R and a cool t-shirt for myself in the gift shop before checking out the current exhibits. The featured exhibit was the same show that the Wex is putting on at this year's state fair. (The Ohio State Fair just got cooler!) Three Ohio artists demonstrated a diversity I haven't seen in a gallery the size of the Wexner in...well...ever. Mark Harris' intriguing video installations were way more compelling than any reality TV crap. The oddball, mixed-media sculptures of Tracy Featherstone reminded me of the junkyard dreams of my youth. I've never felt that porcelain was a viable artistic medium until I saw the work of Rain Harris. In addition to these excellent Ohio artists, the Wex also featured work by "dusty" visual artist Robert Beck, French filmmaker Chris Marker, and the photos of Zoe Leonard.

6. Load up on tattoos. OK, so I didn't load up on tattoos, but I did get one. I returned to the place where I got my first tat about four years ago, Evolved. Matt was able to take me in as a walk-in and worked very quickly. I highly recommend anyone looking to get some ink while in Columbus to see the folks at Evolved. They are super professional and very friendly. I have two somewhat lame tattoos, and the artists there have never made me feel stupid for my choice. What did I get? I got the state of Ohio inked on my forearm. Let me just say that Sandusky Bay was rather painful. (I know that the image is a mirror image. The tattoo is not backwards!)

I certainly made the most of my visit to Ohio. Maybe I should go back...

Tourist In My Own Home

My last full day in West Liberty was to spent as a tourist. If I have to wait six months for some vacation time, I figured that I should do the tourist thing on my last day in town.
I drove through town on my way to Bellefontaine, my birthplace and Ohio's highest point. the secret to driving through West Liberty is to drive about 12 miles per hour in order to time it so that you don't have to stop at any of the three "traffic" lights.

As I head north, I passed the Shell station, home to late night coffee drinkers who ask each other, "Work hard or hardly workin'?" Right across the street from this popular hangout is the Ice Cream Parlor, once known as King's Kone Korner. Yes, the initials were KKK. Of course, that wasn't the only West Liberty establishment with those initials. There was also Keith's Kuts and Kurls (barber shop) and Kathy's Kountry Krafts and the Kountry Korner Kafe. (To be honest, those last two were made up, and Keith advertised "black cuts" as one of his specialties.)

My next stop was Bellefontaine. Besides the highest point in Ohio, I decided to visit the town's other two attractions, both streets.














A statue of George Bartholomew commemorates the building of North America's first concrete street. Court Avenue used to be closed off to traffic, but has since been re-opened. However, despite this must-see attraction, Bellefontaine's downtown is pretty quiet thanks to the Super Walmart south of town. (Coincidentally, the SWM is built on former wetlands just behind the old Walmart. Textbook Walmart.)Loosely translated, Bellefontaine means "beautiful fountain" in French. Here's a photo of said fountain. It's not quite the Magic Fountain of Montjuic in Barcelona, but it's nice. My dad once told me that the Siemens factory where he has worked for over 35 years donated the pineapple at the top of fountain, but I'm not sure why a pineapple. Dad also told me that when the factory was being taken over by Siemens, it was called Bulldog. Everyone wanted to call the new factory Bulldog Siemens.














The other street that Bellefontaine is known for is McKinley. It was once crowned in the Guinness Book of World Records as the "world's shortest street" but has since been replaced by Elgin Street in Bacup, Lanks, UK and Store Headinge, Denmark. However, it should be noted that of the three shortest streets, McKinley is the only drivable one of the bunch. Notice that the hardware store on McKinley is shut down. Thanks again Walmart.

Before heading back to West Liberty (yes there is a East Liberty), I decided to visit the old camp I worked for like six summers and various weekends throughout my college years, Camp Willson. The place has expanded and improved without losing its charm. It still felt very much like it did ten years ago when I did every thing from day camp to waterfront staff to assistant program director.

Even Elaine, the camp office manager was still there. She must have threatened to quit every day that I worked there, but she's still handling the phones and enrollment.

Anne, the camp director was still around. She didn't recognize me at first but did remember me wearing the most bizarre thrift store t-shirts I could find. Anne invited me to walk around. I did so with the visitor's tag in my pocket just to see if anyone would ask who I was. Ann used to always send people through camp just to see if anyone would stop us. No one ever did.

I continued back down 68 to West Liberty where I grabbed some lunch. I sat sucking on chili dogs outside the Tastee Freeze...actually, it's now called Good Eats 'n' Treats, and I had a burger. Also, I sat in the enclosed porch, but it still took me way back.

Before fifth grade, my family lived two houses down from the then-Tastee Freeze. Every time I saved up three quarters, I cooled myself off with a chocolate shake. Of course, that later changed to a root beer float, then a vanilla shake, before my longtime favorite: the chocolate/marshmallow shake with chocolate ice cream, not chocolate sauce.

While in the TF, I noticed brochures for the Ohio Caverns. I then knew where my next path would lead...















The Ohio Caverns may not be the largest caverns in the world, but they are colorful and boast some the of the largest "perfect" formations in the US. I hadn't been there since I was a kid. Like most things, it's not nearly as magnificent as when you were twenty or so years younger, but it was a nice tour nonetheless.

My day of tourism inspired me to do some of the same the following day, my last in Columbus for a while.

To be continued (again)...

I-O

As noted before, I returned to Ohio to visit my parents and to help celebrate my mom's retirement from public schools.

I did very little at first. If this was going to be my one vacation for the next six months, I was going to relax. Mom and Dad took me out to lunch right away to Rothschild's just outside Urbana (in Champaign County oddly enough). My bar-b-q chicken wrap was decent. The "kettle chips" were not "kettle chips". I was able to sip on an excellent brew from the fine Great Lakes Brewing Company out of Cleveland. The Dortmunder Gold Lager proves my theory that lagers can be good...if they are not "American style" like Budweiser for instance.

The lunch wasn't even the most remarkable thing about our trip through the country. Apparently, it is in vogue in west-central Ohio to place a rather large star on one's house. I don't know if it's patriotism (unless the star is painted red-white-blue all over) or religious or country-kitsch, I just know that it looks odd. These giant 32-inch bronze bar stars (as Lowe's calls them) were on nearly every house we passed. I wonder if someone bought their bronze barn star in order to identify their house for guests. Then all their neighbors followed suit creating confusion for all involved.

The strange thing was that some of the stars were painted to represent the American flag. I figure that it's only a matter of time before people start to put up stars decorated to represent the current holiday season. There will be orange stars with black triangles like a jack-o-lantern for Halloween, green and red stars for Christmas, and the image of a resurrected Jesus for Easter. The bronze barn star is this year's cement goose.

Moving on...

Much of the weekend was spent reminding myself how old I am.

The first instance of this was when I accompanied my folks to Staples in search of a printer for my mom. After looking at office furniture for myself, I was surprised to find two of my former students were working at this particular Staples. Now, I've had former students graduate, but this time I saw them in the flesh. Both girls were just stretched out versions of their fifth grade selves. One was even married. It was fun to see them, and I'm glad they're doing well.

The second instance of my coming to terms with my rapidly advancing age was a high school graduation party for a daughter of a woman who used to work with my mom. I don't really know the girl, except that I changed her diaper while babysitting in high school. (This was a fact I chose not to share with her so as not to creep her out.) Her brother was a kid I babysat for on numerous occasions. Now the kid is bigger than me and working on political campaigns. I remember him puking grape juice all over me on the way to Gettysburg once. When did I get so old?

During the days at home last weekend, I sorted through old papers, pictures, and childhood collections. I discovered I had some excellent baseball cards, even a Barry Bonds rookie. Baseball cards were big business when I was collecting them, but their value has really dropped off. All the money and time I spent on that stupid collection I thought would pay off someday is hardly worth posting on eBay now. Oh well. My comic books aren't worth much more. There's no market for GI Joe comics. Who would've guessed?

That was my weekend. I spent the time reminiscing and re-discovering where I came from. However, I was not done. I still hadn't taken in all that is West Liberty. There was still some tourism to be done.

To be continued...

O - H

While R discovers the wonders of Chile and Argentina, I have returned to Ohio for an overdue visit.

Of course, no trip to the Buckeye state would be complete without an Ohio team losing a championship game. LeBron forgot to board the plane to San Antonio as the Spurs put a whooping on the Cavaliers. It's okay, because I suspect that King James will adjust in time for his return to Cleveland...or not.

My sister took me to the (in)famous Surly Girl my first night in town. It's a bar/restaurant run by the same folks that brought you Betty's. This place had opened shortly after we left Columbus. All that I had heard was how hard it was to get in...this was two years ago. We walked right in Thursday evening and downed several pints of Oberon (with the required orange slice) and the same nachos served down the street at Betty's. Our friend J stopped by despite his dissertation defense scheduled for the following day.

(Most of our conversation revolved around the transgendered community and their use of "T" to enhance the transformation, oddly enough. I'm sure we were not sober enough to make any arguments for or against this practice, but I'm sure it entertained those around us.)

The next morning came too soon as my sister had to send me out while she went to work. So, I decided to eat at the best breakfast place in town, North Star. The only difference was that I checked out the new Clintonville location, instead of the Short North original. I had forgotten how good their coffee and breakfast burrito were. All the coffee is fair trade and rich in flavor, oh, and the cups are bottomless. The burrito provided my breakfast for two days. The combination of organic/free-range eggs, salsa, and sausage fills you up for the day. If only there were a North Star in COMO...

I made my way to some old haunts, particularly Used Kids to pick up the latest release by Columbus-ites and new Matador signees, Times New Viking. I described their previous effort to my sister as sounding like Bob Pollard farting through a pillow into a tape recorder while screaming. But trust me, the songs are good once you get past the production. (It's that whole Siltbreeze thang.) The recording of their current release, The Paisley Reich, is another great collection of shrieks and hollers from the attached two-car garage at your favorite split-level arthouse. I really can't wait until Matador shells out the big bucks for a decent recording studio and big-name producer. (I'm hoping for Steve Albini.) Until then, I'll suffer through their first two crap-fests.

Before leaving town, I thought that I'd pick up a hoodie from American Apparel, but hipsters don't shop before eleven, apparently.

I did, however, pick up my two favorite beers in the world before heading home. Bell's Oberon signifies that summer may begin. The previous night's consumption was not enough. I can get Bell's in COMO, but I can't get Columbus Pale Ale. This is by far my favorite brand of my favorite style of beer. It would be a good visit with these beers in my folks' 'fridge.

To be continued...

A Miserable V-day

The snow has been cleared...well, most of it, and we're back to the daily grind. On top of it all, today is Valentine's Day. R and I don't do V-day since our b-days are the 9th and 11th. However, that doesn't seem to stop anyone else. This is the day to show fake love for your real love buying crap.

It doesn't end there. Yesterday, a student of mine called to ask when we would have our class Valentine's party. I replied, "Tomorrow (today). Valentine's Day." The student wanted to know how many chocolate-covered strawberries to make. I told him that I preferred dark chocolate.

My mom informed me that she needed to go buy a card for my dad. She's doing this mostly because he's not. Apparently, Dad gets mad every year when Mom gives him a V-day card, mainly because he didn't get her one. This may sound dysfunctional, but my folks have been married for 33 or so years. So, I guess they know something the rest of don't.

Either way, people will buy useless crap for each other today just to express their love...for capitalism. Chocolates, flowers, greeting cards, lingerie, flavored condoms, etc. will fill people's Target shopping bags today as people try to buy their partner's love. It's a funny holiday. It's so important to so many people, but we don't get the day off. I'll save my celebration for Presidents Day when I will get a day off. Presidents Day...now that's a day worth celebrating capitalism.