Wednesday, November 28, 2007


I have now officially had enough of the Misery Tigers. Where should I begin?

First of all, the Tigers celebrated Saturday's victory over Kansas in a similar fashion to how most teams celebrate winning a national championship. Sure, they beat an undefeated team in a rivalry game for a championship, but that's only half the story.

The undefeated Jayhawk team didn't play anyone worth mentioning all season and are much more well-known for their basketball team, not football. (Of course, the same could have been said about MU...when they had a decent basketball program.) Was it really that impressive to beat the Kansas Jayhawks? Maybe on the hardwood, but not on the gridiron.

The rivalry itself is a problem. The Border War, as it is more commonly known, began when vigilantes from Misery wreaked havoc throughout Kansas. For what reason? Surely these patriots only had the best of intentions and were most likely upholding the very principles for which our great nation was founded: slavery. Yes. That's right. Misery's part in the Border War was as pro-slavery agressors. Now that's a proud heritage.

Besides the many holes in the opponent and rivalry, Misery's win wasn't even that significant. They didn't win the national championship, a chance at the national championship, or even the Big 12. The only thing that the Tigers won on Saturday was the Big 12 North, or the South's little brother. Someone needed to let the Tigers know that they have a little team called Oklahoma to play this coming Saturday. Go Sooners! (More on that later.)

These are not the only problems I have with Mizzou's football success. There was a sign at Saturday's game theat read "Kansas Football: a tradition since September". That same sign could apply to Misery. After this week, the Tigers will have spent two weeks at #1...all time. Compare this to...oh, I don't know...let's say Ohio State. The Buckeyes spent more weeks than that just this season and spent all of last season at #1. Heck, they've won national championships seven times. Mizzou is this year's Rutgers, Boise State, or _______________ (insert flash-in-the-pan team here).

This success will be short-lived, though. The coverboy for the current Sports Illustrated is none other than Misery quarterback, Chase Daniel. While to naive Mizzou fans this might seem like a great thing, those of us more familiar with sporting lore understand that this is a bad omen. There is a little thing called the Sports Illustrated jinx. The jinx basically means that once an athlete or a team is featured on the SI cover, something bad happens like a loss or career-ending injury. Good luck with that one, Chase.

The biggest reason I'm over Mizzou-mania is that the Tigers are the lone barrier between Ohio State and a return trip to the national championship game. If the Oklahoma Sooners win Saturday in the Big 12 championship (which they're favored to do), then The Ohio State University Buckeyes will get their shot at redemption despite the team being one year away from true national championship contention. So, this weekend I'm an OU fan. Go Sooners!

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