Monday, March 31, 2008

An Impersonation of Angry John Sellers: Strange Days

The state of Missour-ah gets stranger and stranger every day. What makes it particularly strange are the laws legislators feel necessary to put in the books. It's making this place intolerable..

First, there's this law where it is now legal to fish with your bare hands. Really. I thought that was as low as the state could get...and it was amusing, but now there's been a new development.

This article reports that the Show Me State also has this law which makes it legal for six-year olds to participate in ultimate fighting, aka "human cock fighting". The "Garage Boys Fight Crew" may wear protective equipment, but they learn the finer points of self-defense through the use of "sucker punches, body blows and swift kicks" and no blood is shed...yet.

Who are these so-called "parents" who let their six-year-olds partake in bloody cage matches (or garage matches) instead of playing a safe sport like soccer or t-ball? Man, the idiot quotient is high in this state.

Why I'm Angry Today
It's supposed to rain.

For way better writing about his anger issues and some stuff about his book tours, read Angry John Sellers.

6 comments:

Pizza Cottontail said...

I'm surprised by the draw of "ultimate fighting" out here. The police have to break up an ultimate fight at least two times a month.

Let the kids in Missour-uh know that ultimate fighting pays pretty well. Some places within driving distance of here offer folks the opportunity to win $300 if they win and $200 if they lose. Maybe the legislature is trying to boost the economy by promoting spending among the lowest-common-denominator crowd.

Lauren Kilberg said...

April Fool's?

Please say yes.

comoprozac said...

No. It's true. It is legal, although ethically questionable, to organize ultimate fighting for six-year-olds. And it is legal to fish with your bare hands. Really. No April fools around here.

Kate said...

I'd rather refer to Missouri as the "Prove It To Me" State. And yes, that is not an original thought, I stolez it.

Jake said...

Keep in mind this is in Carthage. Keep in mind we live in the state with the area known as the Bible Belt. Adam Corolla once said that St. Louis is one of those cities that doesn't belong in the state it's in. I'm from St. Louis, I tend to agree.

Just saying, not all of it's bad--and rural is rural wherever you go, state borders do not apply to hick stupidity.

comoprozac said...

Man, no one gets my impersonation posts. This series has run its course.