RIP: Eric Whiting (1973-2007)

It's weird when friends die. You don't expect it. You see a lot of yourself in them and can't imagine life ending...or wanting to end life.

You're used to family members dying as grandparents pass or become ill. You're not OK with it, but it feels like a part of life. It feels natural somehow.

Not so with friends and peers. You hang out, work, and play together never once thinking that this will come to an end. You're not out at the bar or hiking through the woods thinking, "This could end at any second."

Of course, it does end.

One or both of you moves on. There is college to attend. Jobs take us to new places. Our lives and relationships constantly change.

I had a friend named Eric. We worked together for three years at Western Elementary in Bellefontaine, OH. During my first year, he came in as a student-teacher to the school he attended as a kid.

Being the only two men and eventually fifth-grade teachers, we bonded quickly. I remember walking in and out of each other's classroom to collaborate, vent, or goof around. We created the "executive meetings" as code for happy hour. It made my three years back at home bearable.

Eric had a lot of struggles. There were certain expectations placed on him as a local high school sports hero and grandson to a prominent man in Bellefontaine. He was a kid who made it out of the rougher, poorer side of town and overcame a difficult upbringing. He was the poster child that Bellefontaine could hold up as proof of their tolerance and diversity. The expectations were sometimes too much. He was held to a higher standard than most in that small town.

A lot was expected of Eric, but there were roadblocks at every turn. His supervisor for student-teaching gave him a tough time although his cooperating teacher thought he was doing a fine job. He had won a minority scholarship that locked him into a job in Bellefontaine schools. The superintendent threatened him not to leave the district under any circumstances. He then had one run-in after another with the law and administrators and health issues that probably made life rather difficult.

I left Bellefontaine, but we periodically kept in-touch. We recently contacted each other through MySpace and found that some of our recent struggles with teaching and administrators was similar. I know that hearing how he was coping with the experience helped me recover from depths I had never reached. I just wish I could have done the same for him.

I don't know all of the details about Eric's death, aside from a few cryptic emails from his girlfriend. But I wanted to put this out there. I wanted it to be in print. I want people to know of my friendship with Eric and that he meant a lot to me in both good and bad times.

Eric Whiting will be missed.

(For more information, check the Bellefontaine Dispatch article.)