Ten Things to Make COMO Better

I realize that my whining gets on people's nerves, but they should realize...


1. Get a Trader Joe's and/or Whole Foods. I'm all for supporting local, organic grocers, but I have my issues with the prices and food care of certain stores in COMO. The competition and variety these two chains would provide COMO would be very welcome. There is a large store that stands empty just west of downtown. One of these stores would fit perfectly.


2. We need a record store that is the equivalent of Used Kids or at least Vintage Vinyl. OK, so I've harped on this before, but it's worth repeating. Columbus' Used Kids was a weekly mecca for me. It is what record stores are supposed to be: grungy, manned with drunk record snobs, and cheap. STL's Vintage Vinyl would also be an acceptable alternative, as they stock a huge amount of vinyl and an impressive back catalog. Either way, there is no record culture here and I'm starving.


3. Establish a beer bar with 40 or so beers on tap and another 200+ in the bottle. If a town like Asheville, NC can boast several breweries and a couple of these monster tap rooms, COMO should be able to support one. And don't give me this recession crap. Craft beer sales have been on the rise over the several years. It seems people are staying home for their vacations. They have to drink somewhere, I guess.


4. Speaking of beer...COMO needs a beer shop the way Top Ten Wines fills our wine needs. Top Ten Wines is a great spot to get some good wine, a little wine 411, and a chance to meet some characters (no, not just winos). Beer is growing in popularity here, but there is no suitable place to hang out and buy some hard-to-find beer. When I saw Seattle's Bottleworks last spring, I knew exactly what we needed in this town.


5. We need a real Thai restaurant. Bangkok Gardens is not an authentic Thai option. You'd know what I'm talking about if you've ever had authentic Thai cuisine. I always forget how amazing great Thai food until we travel and eat real Thai. The spices and flavors are otherworldly. Trust me.


6. Why isn't there a gay bar in the District? There are two gay bars (that I know of) in COMO. Neither are anywhere near downtown. How can you have a hopping club scene or downtown with no gay clubs? I've often complained about the lack of diversity in this town, this is only another example of such hegemony.


7. A Banana Republic would greatly help our clothing options. I realize this seems weird coming from my blog, but a BR or some equivalent would certainly up the shopping options, if not people's wardrobes. Besides, it would make my professional (and tall) partner rather happy.


8. We had this place called North Star in Columbus. We need one here too. There is no place in COMO that combines the tasty, organic sensibilities of Uprise with the down-home earthiness and variety of Cafe Berlin. Even imagining the combination of these two fine restaurants doesn't compare to North Star. This joint paid employees living wages and provided benefits. All there food was within a small radius of Columbus. Oh, and I forgot to mention that it was really good and vegetarian-friendly. (Besides, if the urinals at North Star look this good, don't you think we need one too?)


9. Lawrence, Kansas gets a way better concert lineup than COMO. Why is that? We are located within two hours of two major cities on a major highway. We area bigger town. Why do we suffer through so many seasons (particularly winter) with virtually no worthwhile shows. I guess we could all go see Tapes 'n Tapes again. Ugh.


10. A train. We need a train. With the energy crisis what it is and major cities so-close-yet-so-far, we need another way to travel. A train that connects KC, COMO, and STL would be great for starters, but imagine that line connected to trains that head to Colorado or Chicago or New Orleans? Imagine the energy savings, jobs created, and additional geographic access.

So, those are just a few of my ideas for making this a better place. I'm sure my COMO readers have more ideas than these ten. Also, if you know of any of the places I mentioned, back me up and tell people just how good they are.

This might be my only post of the week. Work has me swamped and I have to finish preparing a conference presentation...on blogging. So, don't worry if Friday hits and there's no more Misery to brighten your day. I'll be back.

Reason #1 Why I Live in Misery: No Record Stores*

There are no record stores in COMO. Sure, this is not an indictment on the entire state of Misery, but it is my current home and thus deserves a complaint. I realize that St. Louis has Vintage Vinyl, Jeff City has that one used record shop (JT's, I believe), and Kansas City probably has something. However, that all translates into long car rides just to find a decent inventory of records.

Don't tell me that Slackers, Streetside, and Wal-Mart should fill my needs for quality record choices. They don't. I often find that none of these stores has what I'm looking for unless it's a new release and on a Tuesday (the day new releases hit the stores). Hopes of finding anything older than this week is hit-or-miss. What should I expect? Most of the stores in this town rely as much or more on video game and used movie sales as they do music. So, they're rather unlikely to stock any decent vinyl or the next Swearing at Motorist record.

I would give an honorable mention to Happy Time Media, a decent used record shop. However, they rarely have anything interesting or different. When they do have something worth a listen, the price is jacked up.

The record store situation is so bad here that I have had to resort to ordering most of my records (especially vinyl) online from Insound. The good thing is that nearly everything I am looking for can be found (with eBay as a supplemental source). The bad thing is that a record store in New York can only get orders to Misery so fast. My first new purchase of the year (Animal Collective's much-anticipated Merriweather Post Pavilion) is already on back-order. Plus, I am still waiting on a shipment of assorted older records to land on my doorstep any day now.

I remember the days when I could just go to the store and buy records in-person. The only waiting was at the cash register, behind the girl with used records by The Smiths and Cindy Lauper plus Motorhead CD. My store was Used Kids (with Magnolia Thunderpussy filling in the holes). If Used Kids didn't have it in vinyl, there was a copy on CD. If they didn't have it on CD, there was probably a used/promo copy for seven bucks. If they still didn't have it, they knew of six other bands you should be buying instead. Sadly, there is no Used Kids in COMO. Besides myself and R, there are maybe ten people in this town that know the wonder that is Used Kids. Tragic.

So, this is the number one reason why I call the place in which I live "Misery": There are no record stores.

*A note from comoprozac about this post: In an ongoing series of posts for this blog, I will attempt to give all the reasons why I actually live in Misery. This will answer my many critics who don't get irony, cynicism, or puns. Although each item will be numbered, they are in no particular order. I will just post a complaint about the state I'm in as they come to me. Enjoy.